Why Razormaze fire kittens...

interview with razormaze fun grind metal band

First of all, please introduce yourself so we know how is answering.
Hi, I'm Alex, the singer, guitarist and Grand Puba of Razormaze!

As you are not the only member please say something short about the others. Good and bad habits.
Sam is an idiot. Joe is a dingleberry. Nick is a husband.

So congrats with the new album and how does it feel to see the product in your hands or on the shelfs?
It feels like when Conan the Barbarian successfully raids the Snake Temple and kills that huge fucking snake in Conan the Barbarian.

Could you tell what the progress is compared to "The True Speed Of Steel? And how did you come to this step forward?
We came to this step forward by fasting and isolating ourselves in a nudist colony just outside of Azerbaijan. Changed our whole perspective on shit.

Having the new album out you must have some high expectations about the flowing royalties. What will you do with the first paycheck?
We're going to be rich for sure! We plan on building a sprawling boys-only tree house in the mountains where men like us can be who wee want to be.

Trying to sell copies to people while touring must be fun. Now you can autograph CDs instead of boobies. Right?

So how did the tour go? Arranged the dates yourself? Got good audience at the different places?
Tour was amazing. The dates were arranged Dobis PR. Yeah!

Tell us how a Razormaze show looks like? What can we expect and what absolutely not? And what is the wow factor of the show?
Razormaze shows are very colorful, akin to that of what's seen during Carnaval in South America except you can expect a lot of men and absolutely no women. The wow factor is the insane amount of bare man ass painted pastel colors.

Which show was the most memorable one? Why?
The time we played at the edge of an active volcano in Hawaii. No one was there.

Beside the good times on stage you must have some good laughs for us with backstage stories. Don't worry, everything will be kept secretly here.
Well as long as its being kept secret... we have a pre-show ritual in which we fire kittens out of potato guns at the elderly.

Travelling across your country takes lot of miles. What do you do to kill time? And how do you react when few people show up at the venue?
It sure does take many miles. We kill time by peeing in bottles for fun and creating elaborate sculptures out of dead skin and hair we find in the van.

See you are good friends with Fred Durst. How come? Ever consider to take him on tour with you?
Fred has been on a few tours with us now. We're friends because he is the greatest musician to have ever lived. Duh.

What are your other favorite persons and for what reason?
Sully Erna, because Jonathan Davis.

And what is your obsession with drinking in public? And what snack goes best with what booze?
Were a bunch of barely functioning alcoholic tard babies. We like to dip nachos in Jenkem.

What are the plans for Razormaze for the rest of this year and the ones to come? What are you hoping to achieve? And what are willing to sacrifice?
Limp. Bizkit.
Interviewer: twansibon
Dec 6, 2013

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